But I signed up to score, coach.

Playing quality defense for a full game is not the fun part of soccer. Overlapping from the back to receive the ball from a surprised-to-see-you forward much more memorable. But a 6-0 loss is a memory too. A bad memory. So, play defense first. Play defense all day long and when done well, the worst you can do is tie every game. Being undefeated isn't so bad, come to think of it.

Your midfielders and offense is incompetent and needs you up there? Get ready for that 6-0 hazing and think twice about making that trip forward.

Everyone (even Cookie Monster) knows the sweetness of a good dessert-ish score. Goals are cookies. However... ... ... most of soccer is basic fruit and vegetables defense of the realm. And it is mainly vegetables. Those darn vegetable defensive plays might just win a few games.

Classmates unimpressed by your 0-0 tie last night? Try "helping out" the offense a few times and notch a 4-0 loss and see what they say then. They will be very impressed. NOT!